I may rip my hair out.The FFG and I sat down over the weekend, all twitter-pated and ready to look over the menu that Shinto gave us. We have some big dreams for what to do. Unfortunately, we've hit a snag.
I need to get more definite pricing on what an open bar for one hour would cost, but as it stands, we cant' afford this place. *smacks head* Are you kidding me? Dirt cheap, and we still can't afford it? Something's got to be off.
So, I'm reworking my budget and trying to figure out where the heck I've gone wrong. *le sigh*
Honestly, right now, my $10k budget for 100 people is looking more like a $12k budget. And on top of that, my parents (who are going to have to be the biggest contributors to this wedding, since we have no money and his dad is out of a job) have a mile-long list of people they want to invite that exceeds our 100-person limit. Which means more money. And we're already over.
Ps: these people that my parents want to invite are people I don't know - never even heard of - and who have no vested interest in myself or the Frugal Fabulous Groom. Is that normal? Because, honestly, I'm a very private person, and I feel uncomfortable saying my very intimate and personal vows to my groom in front of a group of strangers. It cheapens it to me, somehow. Is anyone else going through this? Because I feel like this is a normal thing and I'm just over-reacting.
I've got to figure this out. There has got to be a way to make this work. I'm already planning on buying an inexpensive dress, we've thrown out all flowers but what important people will be carrying with them during the night, we're not having a videographer, I've settled for an iPod instead of a live band (which we'll still have, if I can just find an extra $500 in the budget)... there has got to be some other place I can cut back to make this work.
9 comments:
oh man i hear ya! even though my parents, and my fiance's parents, aren't able to contribute financially to the wedding, both sets have some "serious" ideas about who should be invited (well, especially my parents). *sigh* goodness gracious.
i don't know myself, but i've heard that's a fairly common thing for parents to do, invite their friends. i don't know why but they do. a friend of mine had over 300 at their wedding and only personally knew a 1/3 of the guest list!
I have had similar budget issues. We are mostly paying for the wedding so I was able to tell both sets of parents that they could invite 25 people as I knew that both of them would add people as things went along. We are now up to 103 people and 2 weeks from sending out the invites. I have only ordered enough tables, chairs and silverware for 85! I think it's really important to sit down with each set of parents (separately) and discuss how many people you can invite total and remind them about the budget before they start telling all of their friends about the wedding.
:( ohhhh i feel like i'm reading something i wrote. i went through this a few months back. we originally started out with an LA wedding with 50 people at a budget around 7k. easily affordable with my small teacher paycheck. then our parents got involved. dun dun dun!!!! 50 went to 200. 7k went to 20k. we hit a middle ground at 125 people (25 from spain probably wont come). sooo.... 100 people and the budget is now something under 15k. But our parents have each decided that there is SOMETHING WE MUST HAVE* that they are contributing which is why our 10k budget was pushed up to 15ish.
*table centerpieces, church flowers, fresh flower bouquets, and a few extra guests....
as for the guests. our rule. we're sending out the invitations. we control who is invited. if we have not seen them in the past 3 years. the answer is NO.
good luck to you. do something that allows you to relax, run, walk hike.... think on it. you'll figure out how to make it all happen!! :)
I hope we won't have parental trouble only because we have been really specific that we only want about 40 guests. Fingers crossed!
However, friends have had nightmares with parents. Love their parents but they took over.
No practical advice apart from sitting down together and talking.
I know what you mean about the budget & it seems you are doing everything right to cut cost. I think it's typical that parents want to invite all their friends, at most wedding that I have gone it seems that the parents friends make up about 1/2 the people there. I'm lucky that my parents are only asking 4 people & my FI made it clear to his mom that she could not invite a lot of people (she's a social butterfly) & she was actually really sweet and her list was not that big. I'm thinking reception will be about 65% of my budget and hope to cut in the invitation, flowers, decor departments. I'm sure it will all come together!
That's really tough. We're supremely lucky in that we are getting NO parent's random guests.
You really just need to talk to both sets of parents and be strict about the number. That really is it.
Start researching even more DIY projects or way to cut costs. We're all here to help with projects and decor ideas the frugulous way.
Good luck.
sorry for the double comment but i just wanted to let you know that i tagged you for a meme. you can check out the deets on my blog if you're interested in doing it!
Thank you for your awesome comment today! It made my day. :)
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