Processional

I've been kicking around so many ideas for a processional, and thus far come up pretty dry.

All of the music at our wedding will be chorale music - Maurice Durufle's chamber music, etc. - so I've been trying to find something like that to walk down to, but there just doesn't seem to be anything that fits.

I invested in a notebook with my tax refund and took it to Starbucks last night to test it out in public (because I could, lol) and I heard the most beautiful song. It's a cover of Coldplay's "Yellow" and it's sung by Jem (I don't know who that is). If anyone is interested in getting their hands on a copy of it, and I believe you will be, I've been told that it is available on SBucks's latest Valentine's Day CD, "Sweetheart: Our Favorite Artists Sing Their Favorite Love Songs." Anyway, I sat in the comfy, overstuffed chairs listening to this song over a sleepy Grande chamomile tea, and I swear to you, I saw our lives flash before my eyes. The night we met at a Ska concert in high school 10 years ago, our first Valentine's day together, every moment we took care of each other when we were sick, the first time we make love on our wedding night (have I mentioned that we're both still virgins and have never been happier about another decision?) putting our son to sleep at night, comforting our daughter the first time a boy breaks her heart, watching them go off to college and create families of their own, growing old together and marveling at how surprising and yet predictable life is.

I've come across a lot of loud, boisterous songs with much fanfare and pomp and circumstance to walk down to, and I'm just not comfortable with any of it. Is it crazy, in the midst of all of the traditional solemnity of our ceremony, to even consider this?

Regitries, etc.

I ordered my wonderful, fabulousity-in-fabric dress about four weeks ago, and it had already arrived last week! The benefits of being one of the first (if not the first) ever women to order it, I suppose: already in stock. Nice. I picked it up, turned down a $500 flat rate for alterations (I felt like that was a bit of a rip, was that a mistake?) and now, I am in desperate need of a tailor. Aah! I thought I had 3 more months to find one, this all happened so quickly, and I wasn't ready to lock myself in to $500 when I hadn't done my research yet. And they wanted me to come get the dress within the week. What was I supposed to do? Oh well. We'll see how that turns out.

The FFG and I registered at Target and Bed, Bath, & Beyond a couple of months ago and let everyone know that what we really, really want for Christmas are things for the apartment. We already know that all of our siblings have foregone that advice for some entirely different - Lord knows what.

I hope my sister-in-law didn't get me another purse.

Is it wrong/ungrateful for me to be disappointed if people buy me things we really don't need/probably don't much want in lieu of the necessities we've registered for?

Is it wronger/ungratefuler if I take back the new purse and buy a toaster?

Great Things Are Happening

Friday: ordered my dress.

Sunday: booked our church.

Life is getting sweet.

Purchasing my gown was an incredible experience. I had tried on a number of gowns during several visits and found a few that I liked, all by the same designer. I knew two things going in to the store this time around: 1) I would order a gown before Thanksgiving (so, within the week), and 2) it would be an Allure Bridal. I did not know several things going in to the store, e.g.: Allure Bridals was having a trunk sale at the salon that weekend, Seth Kruger (from the design team) was there to represent, and his plane had landed within the hour. Our timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Racks of new gowns cluttered up the salon, something I had never seen in the quarter mile long building. So, with my older sister in tow, I dove in head first, bound and determined to find something better than the mediocre dress from my last trip that I was about the settle on. Sure, it's lovely - it looked even better on me than it does on the model. But, it wasn't "it." Something was still lacking. Still, I needed a gown fast, and if nothing else worked, it would do in a pinch. One thing I was sure of though: this label designed gowns with my body in mind.

As we tore through the racks, Brenda (our designated consultant for the day) and Seth pulled gowns that I asked to try on. I got to the end of the racks and was about to stop (I had four gowns already) when one more caught my eye. It reminded me a bit of a dress that Carrie wears in all of those Sex and the City promos, and when I commented on that to my sister, Seth snagged it from the rack and took it to my dressing room. I tried on the four other gowns, fell in love with the first one, and finally I tried on the "Sex and the City" gown. I was so in love with gown #1 that I almost took this one off immediately. But, I gave it a fair shot, and it kind of grew on me. Not wanting to be so torn at the last second when I almost thought I had picked one out, I decided to try #1 back on, so I could prove to myself what a statement it made in comparison.

It was a flop. It was as if it wasn't even the same dress anymore, like someone had switched it out. Dumbstruck, and a bit bewildered, I tried on the "SatC" dress again, and - voila! Instant glow! My sister actually started to cry when I came back out in it. I couldn't believe the complete 180 I had just done. When Seth and Brenda came to see, they both agreed that they favored this one over #1, and Seth insisted it was the better choice of the two because it drew the eye up to my face rather than down to my feet (where the bubble hem was). But here's where the story gets good...

The "SatC" dress is a Fall 2010 model, so it won't even be available until after my wedding. You can't even find a picture of it on their website yet. Most likely, I was the first bride to order it, and when I walk down the aisle with it on, no one will be able to say that they've seen it before. Plus, I found it at a trunk sale, so that = instant 10% off. And, of all of the gowns I tried on and liked to date, it was the least expensive one before the discount. Do I feel smug, or what??

Okay, so by now you're wondering what it looks like. Well, I don't want to post pictures of me that we took in the salon, and I could only find one professional picture of it from a runway show, since it isn't available yet. And, since I have a certain fiance who views this blog from time to time, I certainly can't just post the picture here. So, instead I'll give you a link to the photo so you can go see it for yourself, though I fear it may kill the FFG not to peek.

BTW: the "Sex and the City" link was made in reference to the flower on the shoulder.

As for the church, the exterior is but a shadow to the beauty that lay within...

photography i dig

We did our engagement photos this past weekend, which would have been a thoroughly enjoyable experience, had I not suddenly come down with the flu the day before and been retaining water at the same time. As it was, I was miserable and have been miserable since because I don't feel like I gave my best for these pictures. Paul is a friend of the FFG from college, and he's a wonderful photographer, so I trust him implicitly with the finished project. I just wish I had been feeling up to giving more energetic and creative poses.

Because I am a control freak, I feel the need to prevent this calamity from happening again in the future in whatever way I can. Now, there really is no way to predict or prevent a sudden and unexpected illness, but I feel like if I do enough research and record it all down, it will make me feel like I've accomplished something and at least give me the illusion of control. Natch.

I love these. But I worry that I love elements of the wedding, not just the actual photography. And, again, my fear is that even good photographers need something to work with.

These guys are darling, and totally exactly what engagement photos should be. I, unfortunately, am a little too tall and curvy to be this cutsey-buttons.

Thanks to the $10,000 bride, I do love this guy, however I sometimes feel that he could back off the filter usage a notch or two. I doubt she would agree.

Cutest. Picture. Ever.

Making Progress

It's been a little cold in this blog this summer, but like the temp outside, things are finally going to heat up for a while...

We're making progress with the reception site. We're still planning on Shinto, and - now that we have the guest list under control at around 80 - they're going to come in right on target. That includes food, drinks, and rentals - woot. We're still in the process of finding a church in the area. I'm thinking of becoming Catholic again.

What? I dig stained glass.

Seriously though, there has to be something around here with a classic church look that doesn't cost a small fortune. Do you know how out-of-place prerecorded Liturgical Latin sounds at a Non-Denominational church?

So I'm a music snob. Sue me.

Okay, but moving on... the Frugal Fabulous Groom and I are slowly, but surely, checking things off the list. Recently, we were able to tentatively secure the talents of a friend of his who is somewhat of a shutterbug. He's not a professional, but he's done photography for a few of his other friends' weddings in the past year, and they've all been quite happy with the results. He's promised to send us some of his work so we can talk. Admittedly, as much as I obsess over a pretty picture (I'm very visual), I'm sort of not picky when it comes to photos. I appreciate artistic vision in all its forms. And I'm excited to see what his particular form is. :)

I've made some headway on the dress. My mother and I are going shopping this week (after I get my hair done, of course) to see what we can find, but after being out a few times already and doing a lot of research online I'm finding a lot of promising options. My current love is just a touch above my price range, but it's hard to find glamour for $700. I may not mind spending the extra hundred bucks, if nothing else turns up. Looky! --->


Really, you should see the whole thing in person; it's to die for.
On a more vain note: for the first time in my life, I've been working out regularly without fail. I'm going on 7 weeks. I've never been over-weight, but there are certainly areas I would love to see with a little less shape to them, if you know what I mean. And, let me tell you: 20 minutes a day, 4-5 days a week will perform miracles. I've lost about 6 pounds, and my pouch is finally flattening out after 11 years. Snap.

Re-vision

Wow, things have been rough lately.

The Frugal Fabulous Groom and I have been tired and depressed lately. We've had a hard time realistically planning a wedding for 100 people, and it just doesn't look like it's going to happen at this point. His dad is still without a job, my dad is only working 3 days a week starting in August, FFG was recently promoted but that just means his commission goals are going to be harder to reach, and I still only work 9 months out of the year. So, $10k is not only hard to come by for us, but it hasn't looked like it's going to be enough.

So, we've decided to pair down the guest list. This really is the easiest way to make things affordable. We are now planning to pay for 80 people for less than $10k. And when I say, "less than," I mean that the budget is $10k but there are certain little extras that we are willing to do without if push comes to shove, and that I have over-budgeted for a few items, should we so happen to come in to the money to pay for said items - but they could certainly be done for a lot cheaper. All that to say: we may be able to scrape by on $8500, if need be. And wouldn't that be wonderful? Let's give it a try, and not sacrifice our relationiship instead, shall we?

On a lighter note: one of my Frugal Fabulous Bridesmaids was in town this weekend, and we had a blast together! She got a chance to see our venue, and we went dress shopping together, during which I may have found my dress! Also, my Matron of Honor called me yesterday, and I have been informed that we will need to add one more "little person" to our guest list...

*Yay!*

A Blogger Darkly

Hey everyone.

I know I've kinda gone dark lately. It's not on purpose - mostly I just haven't had the time to blog, nor anything to blog about, since I haven't made much progress on anything lately. The FFG and I met with our premarraige counselor on Saturday morning for the first time. That was a lot of fun. Beyond that - nada.

But, here's a little treat for you: our reception venue has posted a couple of videos to their website! One is a commercial, which gives you a really good idea what the place has to offer. And this one gives you a sense of what it's like to be there. It's done in slo-mo at first, so you can actually see the tricks they perform, but then they speed it up. If anyone is a pyro like me, there's lots of fire (lol). Watch for my favorite part: the onion volcano...

Oh, the budget...

I may rip my hair out.

The FFG and I sat down over the weekend, all twitter-pated and ready to look over the menu that Shinto gave us. We have some big dreams for what to do. Unfortunately, we've hit a snag.

I need to get more definite pricing on what an open bar for one hour would cost, but as it stands, we cant' afford this place. *smacks head* Are you kidding me? Dirt cheap, and we still can't afford it? Something's got to be off.

So, I'm reworking my budget and trying to figure out where the heck I've gone wrong. *le sigh*

Honestly, right now, my $10k budget for 100 people is looking more like a $12k budget. And on top of that, my parents (who are going to have to be the biggest contributors to this wedding, since we have no money and his dad is out of a job) have a mile-long list of people they want to invite that exceeds our 100-person limit. Which means more money. And we're already over.

Ps: these people that my parents want to invite are people I don't know - never even heard of - and who have no vested interest in myself or the Frugal Fabulous Groom. Is that normal? Because, honestly, I'm a very private person, and I feel uncomfortable saying my very intimate and personal vows to my groom in front of a group of strangers. It cheapens it to me, somehow. Is anyone else going through this? Because I feel like this is a normal thing and I'm just over-reacting.

I've got to figure this out. There has got to be a way to make this work. I'm already planning on buying an inexpensive dress, we've thrown out all flowers but what important people will be carrying with them during the night, we're not having a videographer, I've settled for an iPod instead of a live band (which we'll still have, if I can just find an extra $500 in the budget)... there has got to be some other place I can cut back to make this work.

contests and giveaways and etsy (oh my!)

First off: if you're in to giveaway contests and big sales, go to snippet&ink and check out their latest post. There are a few links to check out - specifically the ones for the 4 pashminas giveaway, and the etsy lotus necklace giveaway. End plug.

I've become an etsy stalker, it's official. Last night, I was looking for wedding gowns on etsy, and I found the most beautiful designer: bellinabridal. Her dresses are all gorgeous - I love her vision! I rarely find a designer that just sees beauty the same way I see it, but we're definitely on the same page. I specifically love one of her older designs, Laurel, and have fallen madly in love with both the dress AND the price. Who can go wrong with such luscious fashion for $600 + free shipping?

I would, of course, ask if she could add straps. I'm worried though - can I buy my wedding dress off of etsy? Is that safe? She says she has a shop in Italy (where she lives) and one in NYC (she's American) but on etsy, she has no buyer reviews. She seems legit for everything but that. I could ask for referals and testimonies, I guess. What do you guys think? Is it safe to buy a wedding gown at etsy?

Shinto? Or shit, no?

Well, the FFG and I met with the Event Coordinator from Shinto this evening.

The manager was wrong about their prices. He told us they were in the $35-$85/per range, so we talked about it and decided we couldn't probably safely budget for $55-$60, tops. Anymore would involved the sale of our first-born.

But when we got there tonight, the EC showed us some quite different figures. They have 3 main packages, priced as follows: $35, $45, and $55.

You heard me. $55 was their expensive one.

What does that include? Appetizers and sushi, dinner, one drink from the bar, champagne toast, and dessert. Plus, exclusive use of the facilities. The only other costs would be taxes, gratuity, and a small compensation for any profits they would miss out on by not having the restaurant open while we are there (a figure based on the average of the date from past years, amounting to a couple hundred at most).

Um, hello? Have I died and gone to Affordable Heaven?

We're thrilled about the $45 pkg, which includes an upgrade to some of the nicer, pricier menu options and a choice of two entrees instead of just one. The $55 pkg is even more of an upgrade, but to things we don't even care about. Saving money already! Oh, and since they're a restaurant and not an outside caterers, our guests will have a menu with about 8 selections to choose from. Not just 2, and not to be picked 2 months before.

So that's what is all included. In addition, the EC is willing to work with us w/o charging a dime more, ie: we can have those appetizers and sushi during cocktail hour if we like, then dinner later. We can have cocktail hour at the bar or on the patio, and the dinner area will be curtained off during that time. She's totally flexible on presentation. We can bring in our own centerpieces, our own cake - we can even bring in our own food from outside for those who just can't stomach Japanese, and we still only pay for those who eat. So the FFG's father who eats nothing but steak and potatoes wil be taken care of.

That's right: if we tell them 100 are going to be there, and only 90 show up to eat, we pay for 90 people.

We're discussing the option of an open bar during cocktail hour, which we understand will be extra. But when we sign that contract, she charges us a flat rate on the alcohol which we decide upon ahead of time based on how many and what kinds of drinks we think will be consumed, and if we go over our limit, they pick up the tab.

They require a 50%, non-refundable deposit one month b4 the wedding, the rest of the balance is due at the end of the night.

Music, live or prerecorded, is an option. A dance floor can be done. Even my mother said the idea sounded like a good one, and she seemed excited.

I'm just not seeing a down-side here...